The Pre-Owned/Pre-Certified Man

Since I've been dating in my 30's there is one type of man that I have grown very fond of, the Divorcee.  He's my favorite for many reasons, but here are the top 3. 

3. He's not afraid of commitment (however, the jury is still out on my own commitment issues)

2. More than likely, his relationships are governed by his true emotions and not his age, his boys or biological clock

and number 1.

He's already trained and domesticated!

There's a lot to be said for the Pre-Owned/Pre-Certified Man.  If the divorce is final, he usually has a healthy disdain for his Ex, so there's no fear of reconciliation.  The ex-wife has already absorbed the depreciation hit, making him a better bargain.  She's molded him, exposed his weaknesses and immature behavior, forced him to make difficult decisions and called his manhood to the carpet. He has also learned how to treat a woman, she probably taught him that too, because he probably has had to learn the hard way.  

Viva Las Ex-Wives!!!! 

So if you get you a Pre-Owned/Pre-Certified Divorcee, most anything he encounters with you will be old hat and he'll know just what to do, but they do come with their challenges.  

I've been lucky enough to run into a guy that I dated in my early 20's who recently got divorced.  Jenine (as previously blogged about) ran into said guy .... Ron, while she was out one night.  Of course, she found out the skinny.  Ron was divorced after 6 years of marriage to his baby-momma. He & I cut off our dating shortly before he got married.  He wanted to do the right thing and make a family.  Have to respect that.  Our dating situation ended on an up-note, wishing each other the best of luck. However, 7 years later, we were both happy to hear that both of us were single and anxious to see each other again. 

Ron & I reconnect. We're back getting acquainted. Things are cool, but this is what I've learned about the Divorcee.  Sex with a man that was once married is totally different from sex with a man that is either still married or had never been married at all. 

Single men have their sexual reputation at stake... so they're in it to win it every time... they can't afford a BDR (Bad Dick Report).

Married men will bring their alter-ego to the bedroom and do things they wouldn't bother to do at home.

Divorcees screw you like they used to screw their wives... it can make for a pretty boring episode.

So, in our reconnection, Ron & I finally get in the same city and find ourselves in the bed (Pre-marriage Ron was a pretty dayum good lover from what I remembered).  I'm all excited about us having sex again.  We get into it.. and all his years of monotonous, missionary, dry, dutiful sex become apparent (Ex-wife can kill the sexual beast in a man).  So we continue as I try to figure out, in my mind, how I can resurrect the Nasty Nasty Que that used to just put the smack down on it.  THEN all of the sudden.. (as we're doing it missionary) he says.. 

"Oooohh... I have to get a cable converter from Lowes... uuugghh" and rolls over.

What the hell was that?!?!

Confused as hell, I ask him "Ummh.. did you... ummh finish??"

He says "Yeah.."

I ask "Do you always talk about hardware when you cum??"

He says "Yeah, or whatever is on my mind."

ok... post-marriage Ron

Though the Pre-Owned/Pre-Certified Divorcee has many wonderful attributes that the Ex-wife cultivated over the years of marriage, more than likely the exciting, spontaneous and freaky part of him may have gotten snuffed out in the process.  You may have to go retrieve that brother.